Strength and Weaknesses Essay

Writing about ones self can be very difficult especially when you know the world can view it. So I decided to put the assignment aside and just evaluate myself on a personal level. What I found is that it was very hard to find positive things to say about myself, this set me on a journey to figure out why this is. I am a good person, many people have said it and maturing from the person I was helps me see it in me. This essay is about me, Joyce Wood and all that I am the positive characteristics as well as the negative. More importantly this essay is a diary or even a mirror into my soul, I am an imperfect person but I know that from writing this I am taking the steps required to better myself as an individual as well as a productive member of society.I decided to start with the easier subject, what I view as a negative or hindrance in my development. Stubborn is the simplest way to describe myself, once I have an opinion on something I don’t want to discuss alternative ideas. My eyes become closed and I can become very aggravated if anyone tries to alter my mindset. In my life this has lead me to have many meaning less altercations with the people I care about. It has also kept me in a box when it comes to my creative development, as well as closed many doors to opportunities. When I catch myself being stubborn, I tell myself that listening to others isn’t being a follower, it is wise. Two heads are better than one and once the ideas begin to flow bigger and better things can be accomplished.  Besides being stubborn I am also controlling or over dominate when I interact with others. As a social person, people are always coming to me for help and this characteristic leads to two main problems. When I come across another strong personality they usually get offended by my domineering approach and push back. However, when I come across a weaker personality they tend to lean on me too much; this frustrates me because I only enjoy helping people who want to help themselves. I am still struggling with the concept of giving them advice and let them do with it what they please with it and not internalizing the problem as my own. Like most people my age I am a procrastinator, this tends to happen when I go off schedule. Constant planning ensures I achieve everything I want, but when I go off track with the fun stuff that I want to do takes the place of my necessary tasks. I believe that I must first get use to adapting to an ever changing situation and mature enough to know that exciting must never supersede important. Another result of me not scheduling is my tendency to be disorganized. Yes, these are contrasting characteristics but I do have both. For example, I tend to put things down everywhere which makes things disorganized. This leads to me to getting stressed because I can’t find anything. It also leads to me being lazy. When things are cluttered I can’t concentrate so I do things that require a lot less thinking like watching TV or sleeping. I am learning to keep things organized for my own good. Explosiveness is another humongous problem that I have; when I am faced with something I can’t do I get very hotheaded.  This puts people off and it becomes the main characteristic they see in me. It stops me from getting help at times because no one wants nor needs to deal with that type of attitude. I am slowly learning to breath and not let my fear manifests itself as anger. In addition to these previous flaws, I tend to be a perfectionist; what I am realizing is that by being this way I change things so much that I make things worse. A small bit of my perfection issues comes from me being competitive; however, this characteristic is both good and bad. As a former athlete is was good because it drove me to continue to play basketball even when I was tired. As a student, it can turn people off fast.  What people don’t understand about me is that I’m not in competition with them but with myself; I’m always trying to outdo me. Being this way can make me seem cocky, which I believe puts people off. I see this as good thing because I am never envious of others accomplishments because I’m only worried about myself. I guess narcissism is another issue but I can’t necessarily say it’s bad. I am a pessimistic person; I see the worse in everything. I think this lack of hope keeps me from being hurt, but it also keeps me distant not being able to put my whole heart into anything or anyone. I have gotten a lot more optimistic over the years. I know that people are human and sometimes they will fail you but not out of spite but because everyone makes mistakes. I now take people for who they are and not judge them for their faults but by the goodness in their heart. There is no one in this world without flaws including me. After all you have read I know it’s hard to see the good in me but I have much to offer the world besides anger. I am a self motivated individual; I do all I do because I want to, not because someone made me. With all the trials and tribulations I have been through and will continue to overcome, self motivation will always get me where I need to be. I am articulate, I get my point across as clearly as possible, and when I am engaging in group activities being this way prevents miscommunication. Also when I have a problem I can get helped because the person knows what’s wrong.  A lot of times people cant get help because they haven’t thought about what they need therefore they can’t express it. As I have said before I am a sociable person I am willing to help anyone who needs it. I feel joy in knowing because of me this person is a little bit better, their life a little bit easier. Many of my long time friends call me grandma because of this and I wear that title proudly. Being this way also makes me feel a little better about the wrong I have done in my past, even though I am not helping the person I hurt, I feel I’m counteracting my past actions. Being sociable has another consequence, I attract so many people that even when I am alone I never really am. Besides these negative consequences of being social I also have positive ones as well. I give off a positive vibe which makes people talk to me wherever I am; this makes me feel good about me. I also like that being me will put a smile on peoples face when I am mentioned because of something I said that made them laugh or inspired them. If I could I would try and save the world. I am very patient, when I deal with others and ever so slowly when I deal with myself. Being this way prevents me from stressing the little things in the world. It also allows me to work well with people in need because I don’t become bothered with repeating myself as long as I feel they are trying. Besides being patient, I am hard working, when I do something I do it to my best abilities not just to the minimal that is expected. I am this way because I don’t want any regrets and so far I have no regrets. I am outgoing; some people even call me a nutty person. I am fun to be around, and people open up to me because they see me as the crazy one who will understand, and I do.  I believe that I am a leader, when people see me they see someone who is sure of herself and deal with me because of that. Being this way allows me to get things done without too much idea conflict. It also stops me from getting into any unexpected trouble. I use to follow others but I now strive to stand aside of the crowd even if it’s alone. My best quality I see in myself is intelligence, not just being smart but how I interact with others. I do have a lot of knowledge in me about loads of things, but I don’t show it outward where it would make others feel belittled. I know that there is a lot I don’t know and I will never know it all. I try to stay s humble as possible, but will always rise to any challenges that I may be faced with.In conclusion, my self evaluation has opened my eyes to what I need to fix and what never to lose about myself. I am still maturing as an individual and I will make mistakes. What I will always remember is that without struggle there will be not success and that makes me push through all obstacles I encounter. A professor once told me a Japanese quote “Wabi – Sabi” which means, Nothing is ….. Finished, Perfect, Last forever. From that quote I took on the mind frame not to stress the little things and keep pushing on cause a change is going to come as it always has and always will.